I want to take you on a journey. Come along. The story starts with the Summer of Baseball… visiting 11 baseball stadiums on a 4,000 mile road trip around the Midwest. But traveling for 24 days by oneself can get dull. Some “company” would be nice.
I had been previously using Tinder but with middling results. Sure, I had met some nice women, but this trip didn’t afford me the time for “relationship building”. This was about sex… mostly about giving oral sex. Being subtle in my profile about my intentions wasn’t going to cut it. And just saying “Looking for a hookup” or “Looking for fwb” wasn’t going to get me noticed.
I had to be bold. I had to be direct. I had to state my case clearly and loudly.
My profile led off with: “I LOVE eating out. I’m VERY orally-focused and talented”… followed by some actual testimonials.
This definitely got me the attention I was looking for. Both positive and negative.
I was glad for the negative attention because it meant that women were self-selecting OUT of matches with me. I didn’t have to waste time chatting with them when we weren’t looking for the same thing.
The positive attention was a bit of a mixed bag. Some women thought it was a big joke or were just interested to talk to the guy behind the profile. Sorry hon, not a joke… are you on board with multiple mind-blowing orgasms or not?!?
Some women were very intrigued by my “supposed skills”. Seriously, ladies, I did NOT make up these testimonials. For example:
“You blew my mind. I didn’t know my body could do that!”… “Respectful, kind, generous”… “It was like being immersed in a field of sensual, sumptuous, delicious, exhilarating freedom.”… “You melted me.”
(Incidentally, 4-5 quotes seemed to be the sweet spot. Fewer didn’t have quite the impact. More just made me seem slutty.)
A small subset were interested in meeting and seeing if we had chemistry. Perfect! I only had a limited time in each city so a “small subset” is all I really could handle.
All in all I had an incredible 3 and a half weeks driving around the Midwest, working during the day on my laptop, and at night going to baseball games and/or enjoying the company of a local woman.
Though I started my journey on Saturday, July 18, things didn’t get interesting until the following Tuesday. That’s where I’ll begin…